Accepting and Asking for Help

In front of me in a church meeting today sat a family. At the beginning of the meeting, both parents were there with their 5 kids. Sometime in the middle of the meeting, the father left with the youngest child leaving the mother with 4 boys (who all appeared to be under the age of 10). The younger 2 boys were doing their best but having a hard time sitting still. I understand. My 3 year old was also struggling. Several times throughout the meeting, the mother took one or both of the younger boys out into the hallways to release a little energy. The final time she took them out was just as the meeting was wrapping up. There were toys, crayons, pencils, and paper everywhere on the floor. That's how things are with young kids. I walked up to the 2 older boys, who had been coloring quietly through the meeting, and asked them to help me pick up their stuff. I thought this would help the other mother so she wouldn't have to come in from caring for the other 2 boys and then gather everything. Soon another mom and her family (father and 2 teenage kids) were helping. We had everything picked up in a matter of moments. Then I sat waiting with the boys until their mother returned. As she walked in, she made a few comments that I think are common thoughts. "Oh I'm so embarrassed." "You didn't need to do that." "We could have cleaned it up." and a few others. I have had these same thoughts before.

Another time in a meeting for women, we were all sharing things that are hard for us or things we struggle with. Many of the women mentioned they have a hard time asking for and accepting help. After this meeting, I started wondering why it is so hard to ask for or accept help from others. Because of this, I find myself thinking about this when I need to ask for help or when I am avoiding asking for help. 

Somehow in society, we have decided that asking for help means we are in over our heads or that can't take care of it ourselves. However, most people giving service don't feel this way. Today I helped that family, not because I thought the mother was struggling or because she wasn't doing a good job or because she couldn't have done it herself. I helped because she didn't need to stay later cleaning up after she had been caring for the others. I helped because my husband was still in the room with my kids and he could help them while I helped her kids. I helped because when I have been in similar situations I wanted nothing more to be able to go and let my kids be kids and this way she could quicker.  I helped because we are all in this together, helping and supporting each other.

Although, there have been plenty of times I have not asked for help or had to force myself to be grateful for help when it wasn't super helpful. (Think kids learning to fold laundry and put away clothes.)  

Good, Better, Best... or Just Different

If I were to ask which is the most important body part, what would you answer? The brain controls everything but without muscles, nerves, skin, and bones it wouldn't have anything to direct. The heart provides blood with all the nutrients but without lunges, our body wouldn't have needed oxygen. Legs may move us from place to place, but are nothing without the previously mentioned organs. Every part of the body is needed to help the body work to full capacity. Even when there are parts that don't work, are misshapen, or have other issues, this doesn't make the body as a whole less useful. It is different and can be of value given the right situation. 

So why do we place things in a hierarchy of good, better, best? More importantly, why do we place higher value to certain people over others? Is it their clothes? Their job? How much money they make, have saved, give to charity? Is it the number of people how know about you? What about their intelligence? Art abilities? Athletic abilities? What gives people their value?

I have grown up believing that all people are valuable and that God care about all of us. As His children, we have divine qualities and royal lineage. Just as importantly, we have individual worth. We have value because of our divine qualities and royal lineage but our individuality makes us different, unique, and special. They don't decrease our value. Actually, the increase it. Like the body, any one part by itself may work to its greatest capacity but still not be able to reach its full potential without the other parts of the body. 

So why do we treat people better or worse based on what value we've given them? 

It's happened throughout all of history. People who were considered less valuable were conquered and made slaves, or killed. Now I can't say for sure but I assume that's what happened with the Native Americans and the African Slaves in the beginning of modern times in North America. Boats of people showed up in "modern clothing" and with knowledge and technology. They had written language and long distance sailing capabilities. They found groups of people wearing clothing from items directly from the land. Their language sounded more primitive and they lacked a written history. The people were often more nomadic in nature or lived in basic dwellings. The new arrivals determined the others were of less value or put the land to better use and so they captured the natives and took them away from their land or took their land away from them. They had decided these people were of less value. 

We are seeing similar mentalities today. Groups of people are determined to have less value because of their beliefs, because of the actions of others who look like them, because they don't live up to the clothing standards arbitrarily set by a group of people, or any number of things. Now that this value has been assigned, the people are treated that way. It's very heartbreaking to see. 

What if we change that way of thinking? Instead of placing value on people we looked at them and said "they are different and that's ok. I wonder how they can help or benefit society." Maybe then the  only judgments passed on a person would be based on that person's actions and only more of an assessment. 

I wonder if we thought of the people of the world as parts to the same body, all performing different but important functions. When a part of the body isn't working right, some areas compensate while others rush to the aid of the injured or ailing part. 

This is how I try to teach my children. When they comment about clothing, language/accent, ability/disability, or any other characteristic we talk about how that makes them different but then we talk about how they still do things similar to us and how they might be able to do things better. Different makes us unique and special but does not make us greater or less than someone else.  

Right to Life?

I recently had a conversation with someone over social media about a very divided topic; abortion. I was trying to understand something I had heard recently and during the course of this conversation, I learned some interesting things and these things I think lead down a scary path so I wanted to share.

I asked how anyone who believes, trusts, and uses sciences can support abortion. Science has given criteria to determine if something is living or inanimate. Humans, and human cells, are both considered living by these standards. The minute the sperm and egg combine, a zygote is formed. At no time in this process does either the sperm, the egg, or the forming zygote cease to be living. This zygote has a different set of genes than either parent. This qualifies it as a separate being from the mother. While the mother is the host and allows the zygote/embryo/fetus to grow and survive, the zygote/embryo/fetus is a living entity separate from the mother.

This is how I believe and how I understand what I have learned. In this conversation, the other person was trying to explain their beliefs. First, they claimed that the zygote/embryo couldn't be considered living as it has no brain wave activity/neural activity. However, this isn't a classification for something to be considered living. They then tried to determine when a zygote/embryo should be considered living by determining when a human is considered dead. This approach doesn't make much sense to me. Cells are living. When they combine, they don't die. They don't not live for any amount of time.

While I appreciated someone taking the time and sharing the research they had found, I didn't agree. Mostly because they were changing definitions to meet the criteria they were studying. Researching to find things that they subjectively determined.

The part of the conversation that frightened me the most was when they shared how some scientists are trying to determine what they call a "right to life." When should something be "living" or "alive enough" to have the right to remain so. Why this is so scary is because now this living, unborn fetus somehow doesn't have the "right to life" so then its ok for us to kill it. As this was explained to me in our conversation, I was shocked. The first thing that came into my head was "Isn't this exactly what started the U.S. and German eugenics programs? Isn't this why there was slavery? Isn't thinking like this what lead to so many other horrible things in history?"

If you don't know, eugenics is "the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics" (Google dictionary).  This was practiced during times of slavery to try and create stronger, healthier slaves. Generally done in awful ways such as forced rape of slaves. At the beginning of the 20th century, the U.S. and Germany worked on a different eugenics program. This program was forced sterilization of persons who were considered mentally slow or of lower intelligence. It was all in the name of doing what was best for society; increasing intelligence, removing those who would be considered a burden, etc.

Abortion is turning into this same thing. Iceland and Denmark are having record low incidences of children with Down syndrome being born because their healthcare systems require doctors to offer genetic testing that can identify genetic irregularities. The majority of mothers-to-be receive this testing and then almost all of these women are aborting the fetuses determined to have issues. All of this is covered by their healthcare. And all in the name of removing some "undue burden" on the mother. (I have heard the "undue burden" debate in other conversations about abortion meaning the state or government doesn't have the power to take away a woman's right to an abortion given the undue burdens of emotional, fiscal, physical and other stresses pregnancy and subsequent birth place on a woman.)

I just don't understand how one group of people can arbitrarily decide when someone else has the "right to life".

God and Science; Laws and Agency

Because of science, we know there are natural laws all around us that governs nature. Laws are systems of rules that constitute how nature will behave. Some of these laws are the law of gravity, law of conservation of mass, laws of thermodynamic. These are set and unchanging. The only way to change the outcome is to change the input. For example, the amount of gravity present on a celestial body, like a moon or planet is determined by the mass and speed at which it rotates. This is why humans would seemingly weigh less or more on different planets; its due to the amount of gravity acting upon their body.

I believe in God. I believe He created all things. Many people believe this contradicts everything in science but I would disagree. What if God knew ALL the laws of nature and science, even ones we haven't discovered yet? Suppose He understood how changing one factor in the equation would determine the outcome. If He does have all that knowledge then wouldn't He be able to use that knowledge to control the formation of galaxies, stars, planets, and then life of those planets? Isn't that what our scientists do now in experiments; they take the information about the laws they have, change parts of the equation until they receive the desired outcome?

As part of the plan of salvation, God gave us agency, the ability and privilege to choose and act for ourselves and not to be acted upon. I believe this is because we learn better, grow faster (intellectually and emotionally), and remember the lessons more as we choose to work and study and even make mistakes. While this allows us to progress better, it also means that He cannot control the outcomes of our choices without violating these laws. Sadly, this is why some people claim that God is not loving, that God is changing, or that He doesn't exist; why would He allow bad things to happen?

However, one of God's purposes is to help us, His children, progress and return to Him. Now since God knows and understands how all these laws work and what the outcomes will be in given situations, I'm sure He knows what will affect us, both our spirits and physical bodies, in ways that would prevent us from returning to Him. For this reason, He gave and continues to give commandments and counsel to prophets in order to help us follow natural laws that we don't understand yet. Sometimes it is hard when there is a commandment that we don't understand or we can't see the direct, indirect, immediate or delayed effect of not obeying that commandment, but that is why God has asked us to have faith. He asks that we trust Him and we trust that He truly wants what is best for us, regardless of what the societal norms may be at the time.

As I was writing this, another thought came to mind. How fair is grading, judgment, or scoring when its subjective? As humans, we know how hard being impartial can be. So what if having these laws allows God's judgment to change from being subjective to objective meaning the outcomes of of our choices are solely determined on the choices we make in this life?

If we see as God sees or understand laws as God does, would we make the same choices? If we could know the definitive outcome of our choices, would we make the same ones?

Additional scripture resources: Book of Mormon 2 Nephi 2, Alma 42

God is an explanation! (Does God exist: part 2)

Sometimes I wish I knew a bit more about computer algorithms but most of the time I'm ok as long as they work right. I'm not sure how, I mean I have a small idea/theory bit it, but on the explore option on Instagram I have been seeing some strange accounts pop-up based on what I "like" and what I follow. These are posts about extreme political affiliations, holistic or vegan lifestyles, conspiracy theories, and atheism. On occasion, I read them and even sometimes I have commented. I like learning about what other people think and why.

But what made me want to add to an earlier post was some internal insight I gained while looking at one of these posts. It was from an atheist account. The post starts with "'God' is not an explanation." I couldn't comment on the account because it would take too much space but also I have tried that before and although the owner claims "question everything" and "open mindedness" they are unwilling to hear anything about God that goes against their current beliefs. I still wanted to share how I see things.

I say God is an explanation. What I am about to explain are my personal opinions (as I state frequently) but it also a theory, one that has evidences and not much proof.

The Bible teaches that God is all-knowing. Given that assumption, wouldn't He know exactly how and why all the laws of nature and science work? Wouldn't He know how to influence or introduce catalysts in ways that would organize and form worlds, bring about life, and cause life to evolve? With this, wouldn't He know which laws would benefit us and which could hurt us?

The Bible also teaches that God is just and no respecter of persons. That means we, everyone, gets what they deserve (cause and effect) and He doesn't play favorites. Now say someone is more willing to listen and follows His commandments (which are meant to lead and direct us to keeping the laws of nature that benefit us), it seems like a blessing to believers and that God favors them but to non-believers simple good fortune. Are there non-believers who inadvertently obey these laws (and the corresponding commandments) who still receive the same benefits as the believers? Yes. He is not respecter of persons. They met the requirements for the law to take affect.

Because God is just, He obeys the laws. He gave us agency and allows us to learn from and deal with the consequences of our's and other's choices. He will not interfere with these laws but will offer guidance on what to do to set the right conditions for the laws to give the desired results. Faith and gifts of the spirit are seemingly possible outcomes to obeying certain laws that allow the person the ability to use knowledge God has to perform miracles as seen in miracles of healing and such.

His desire is for us to learn and understand these laws. To connect how life acts and interacts. Some of the answers are their within reach and some are a little farther out for the time being.

Do I know, understand, or have explanations that happen for everything? No I don't. But I believe that God does. I believe that one day I have the potential to know as He does. That is why I have faith and that is why I trust His counsels. God is an explanation especially when science tells us that something is near impossible/highly improbable.

Plan of Salvation - Earth life or Mortality

The middle section of the Plan of Salvation is called Mortality. It's the portion of the plan where our eternal spirits are housed in physical, mortal bodies. There is a lot of information about this part of the plan because its the part we are currently living. It's the part we actually remember.


After the council and subsequent war in heaven (see Plan of Salvation - Pre-mortal life), the earth and all things on it were created and organized. Man and woman were placed here. Gender plays an important part. Woman was given the right and power to create new physical bodies, with man's help, to ensure there would be bodies for other spirit children of God to receive and reside while going through this mortal life. Bodies are essential in the Plan to allow God's children to learn more and return to Him one day. Man was granted the right and power of the priesthood. The priesthood is God's power and authority given to man to act in His name to provide blessings and ordinances necessary for God's children to be able to return to Him. Men and women are not equal as in the same, but they are equal as in the both hold important roles in helping God's children. Without both, the plan would not work.

Adam and Eve were placed on Earth in the Garden of Eden. They were innocent and had no understanding of opposition. They were given commandments. After being tempted and beguiled by the serpent, or Satan, they partook of the fruit of the knowledge of Good and Evil. This allowed them to start learning about opposition which is needed in life. You can't understand joy without sorrow. Pleasure means nothing without pain. Good and evil have no meaning without each other. But because partaking of the fruit transgressed one of God's commands, they were kicked out of the Garden.

After they left the Garden, a veil of forgetfulness was placed over their minds (and subsequently ours as well) so that our desire to obey God's commands could be tested without the memories of the pre-mortal life and what it was like to be with God. God did send messengers to Adam, and other men after him, to share the truth about God and His plan. These messengers teach about God's commandments so that we won't disobey unknowingly and be punished, and so we can receive blessings (or rewards) for obedience. In this way we could prove we truly desired to be like Him. These men who are taught these things are referred to as prophets and their job is to then teach us.

Of course, more and more people were born to populate the Earth and other such details that aren't terribly important to the plan.

Here are some items I feel are more important about the plan:

1. We were born to receive bodies so we could be like God. But our bodies are mortal bodies meaning they will die, they are subject to temptations from Satan, and they often have things go wrong with them (i.e. sickness, injury, mental issues, etc.). Death would keep us from returning to God. 
2. Just like in the pre-mortal life, we continue to have agency. We are free to make our own choices. However, there are laws (sometimes referred to as commandments) in place and consequences (both rewards and punishments) assigned to each law. When we choose to keep or obey the law, we will receive a reward or blessing and we will remain free from punishments that might limit our freedom. When we break or disobey these laws, the assigned punished will take place either now or sometime in the future. Many of these punishments strip us of freedom to choose the next time, like habits which eventually turn into addictions. This is also referred to as sin. Sin will also keep us from God. Temptations and mental issues only keep us from God if we give into them and teach our body to accept them rather than focus on rejecting them by obeying God's commandments. 
3. Jesus was born of a mortal mother and a Godly father. He lived a perfect life and obeyed all of God's commandments. He experienced his own bodily afflictions. He was tempted by Satan, He suffered (experienced and felt) all of the sins, sorrows, ailments, illnesses, and temptations of the human race. This pain was so much that he bled from every pore in his body. (This is known as the Atonement of Jesus Christ.) He then suffered the painful death of crucifixion. But after all this, he was resurrected* and lives again. (*Resurrection refers to the reuniting of the physical body with the spirit but in such a way that the body now becomes perfect. It is no longer subject to death, sickness, temptation, etc.)
4. As part of the plan, God and Jesus Christ created the way that once Jesus broke the bands of death, they wouldn't be able to hold anyone forever. Meaning, because Jesus Christ was resurrected one day every person who receives a body will be resurrected also at an assigned time. We do not need to do anything to receive this. This resurrection will also correct any mortal problems we experienced while alive. No more cancer, broken bones, etc. The body will be returned to a perfect state. We will not stay dead forever. We will live again as Jesus Christ lives again. 
5. Through everything that Jesus Christ suffered, he experienced any and all trials that any person, male or female, could experience. Because he did this, he can help us overcome any struggles we may have; physical, mental, emotional, etc. He has perfect empathy and he can do this for us right now. All we need to do is ask. Also, because we sin and because God is just, and because justice will not be robbed, we would not be able to return and live with Him again. This justice makes it so God is impartial and not a respecter of persons. Each consequence we receive is of our own doing. On the other hand, God loves us and wants us to return, so Jesus Christ stepped in as a savior and mediator. He suffered and paid our debt of sin and will advocate for us before God during the time of judgment. Jesus is willing to do this as long as we meet his terms which are: have faith in him, repent of our sins, be baptized by immersion with the proper authority, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. After that, we simply need to try our best to do our best, repenting when we mess up along the way. Through Jesus Christ our disobedience to God's laws and our sins are taken away. 

This part of the plan provides so much hope and joy. Our loved ones who have passed away will not remain dead forever. We will see and touch them again with perfect bodies. Even when we make mistakes, there is a way to be rid of those and feel joy and happiness. There is a way to have help from someone who knows exactly what we are dealing with; temptations, addictions, habits, depression, physical infirmities (genetic deformities, life long illnesses, prolong pain or injury), and anything else we might suffer. This is a glorious plan.

Plan of Salvation - Pre-mortal Life

The first part of the Plan of Salvation is what members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints refer to as the "Pre-mortal Life" or "Pre-Earth Life" because it talks about what happened before we were born on Earth (before receiving mortal bodies). In times past, some referred to it as the "Pre-existence" but this was not correct as we existed before this life on Earth.

First I should explain that in The Church, we believe that each person born is the combination of an eternal spirit that has a gender and existed before being born and a mortal, physical body. This body will one day die but the spirit will continue to live on after this life.

In this pre-mortal life, we lived as spirits together with God. We are his spirit children. We have divine potential and were given gender as an important role of the plan in providing eternal identity and purpose. We grew in knowledge. We had certain experiences as spirits that allowed us to grow and progress. However in order for us to continue to learn and progress, we needed bodies and the experiences that would come from having bodies. This would also allow us to become more like God, as He has a body of flesh and bone (Doctrine and Covenants 130:22).

There was a council held and all the spirit children were told of the plan for us to be born and receive bodies. We knew that these bodies would be imperfect; physically and mentally. We knew we wouldn't be in God's presence and that would make it harder (almost impossible) to return to God. We knew we must be perfect to return to His presence and that would require perfect obedience to God's laws and the laws of nature, for God is just.

At this council, two plans were presented that would allow us to return and live with God again. One plan was presented by Jesus. His plan was that we would be allowed to retain our agency, which meant we might not choose to obey and therefore not remain perfect. This would mean we couldn't return to God's presence after death. But Jesus said so that God could remain just, he would step in as a savior, or mediator, to provide mercy. He would come and pay the price for ALL our imperfections so that he might advocate before God on our behalf. In order for Jesus to do this, we would need to show faith in him and a desire to obey by following in his footsteps the best we can and by covenanting (or promising) to do certain things. All the glory would remain with God.

The second plan was proposed by Lucifer. In his plan, we would give up our agency and do only as Lucifer instructed. God's glory and power would be given to Lucifer.

The first plan was chosen, and was set into motion. Lucifer and his followers started a rebellion and were cast out of heaven. They will never have the opportunity to receive bodies or learn on Earth.

God and Jesus worked to create or organize an earth where we would come to live and learn.

(Moses 4:1-4, Abraham 3:24-28, The Family: A Proclamation to the World, Mormon.org Plan of Salvation)

Plan of Salvation - Overview

A lot of the stuff I talk about on here stems from my beliefs. One of the beliefs that is central to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is what we call the Plan of Salvation (LDS.org, Mormon.org).

The Plan of Salvation answers many questions and provides explanations to many of those answers. It will answer; where did we come from, why are we here (what is man's existence), and what happens after we die. It also provides a lot of information about how we can and why we should try to be and live our best.

Because the Plan of Salvation, also known as the Plan of Happiness and the Plan of Redemption, has so much information, I will share about it in stages. The main parts of the Plan include: the Pre-mortal life, which tells us we lived with God and he is the Father of our spirits; the Mortal or Earth life, which tells us life has purpose, that Jesus Christ is central to our lives, and that He is our Savior; and the After life, what happens after we die and that we can live with God again.

I hope that as you read these, you will take the time to think about what I share and leave any comments or ask any questions you may have.

Scriptures of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints recognizes a canon comprised of the Holy Bible (in the English language most members of The Church use the King James Version), the Book of Mormon (LDS.org and Mormon.org), the Pearl of Great Price, and Doctrine and Covenants. I will give a brief description of each below but for more information, use the links provided.

The Holy Bible:
Like most Christian religions, the Church recognizes and believes the Bible to be the word of God as given to prophets and apostles who lived in and around Jerusalem. The Old Testament contains the words of prophets before Jesus was born. Jesus is often referred to as Jehovah in the Old Testament. The New Testament contains the words of prophets and apostles after Jesus was born. It contains information about Jesus Christ's birth, life, teachings, death, and resurrection. It also contains the travels and teachings of his apostles after His death and resurrection.

If I remember correctly, I believe The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints adopted the King James Version for the English language as the official Bible the Church uses because King James had the Old and New Testaments translated to English directly from the original languages and there have been no additional translations since.

The Book of Mormon (information from LDS.org and from Mormon.org):
The Book of Mormon is another Testament of Jesus Christ. The book starts around the beginning of King Zedekiah's reign in Jerusalem. Prophets were being cast out and occasionally killed during this time. One of these prophets was a man named Lehi. Following a command from God, he gathered his family, another family, and scriptures referred to as The Plates of Brass, which contained the teachings found in the beginning parts of the Bible. They were guided and came to the American Continent. The Book of Mormon contains the teachings and stories of the people who lived here. There is an account of Jesus Christ visiting the people after His resurrection in Jerusalem. The book continues for around another 400 years. It provides evidence of the truthfulness of the teachings in the Bible and clarifies some of the teachings. It acts as a witness that God cares for us no matter where we live and provides additional testimony of Jesus Christ and His teachings.

The Book of Mormon was hidden and sealed by the final prophet to write in it. Many years later, the plates on which the book was original written were given to Joseph Smith to translate. He was able to translate them through the gift and power given him by God.

Doctrine and Covenants:
This is a collection of revelations and covenants given to Joseph Smith and other prophets before, during, and shortly after he helped restore The Church of Jesus Christ, which is officially called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to distinguish it from the church during Jesus Christ's time and because we are in the latter days.

Pearl of Great Price:
Additional scriptures translated by Joseph Smith. It contains teachings from Abraham, Moses and other prophets. Added to it are a translation of certain parts of Matthew, a brief history about Joseph Smith, and Articles of Faith. The articles of faith are the teachings of the gospel outlined in 13 declarations of what we believe.

I hope this helps clarify as I talk about other things here on the blog.

Is there a God?

Does God really exist? I believe yes He does.

I have read various articles in which people question God's existence. They say things like "if there is a God/supreme bring and He is good and loves us, why would He let bad things happen?" Or "look at what the bible says or what this religious person has done, therefore there is no God and/or religion is bad."

Many people look at the things humans do and then blame God for those things or claim if people act a certain that way then there couldn't possibly be a god. That's why I love the example story about the barber. (The shortened version is a barber doesn't believe in God and spends the entire haircut saying as much, including the examples above, to the man in the chair. After, the man who just listened to all that, exited the barber shop and returned a few moments later with someone who hasn't had a haircut in a while and proceeds to use this man as proof there aren't barbers.) You wouldn't ever look at someone who doesn't take care of their hair or cut their hair and assume hair stylists or barbers don't care or don't exist, right? So then why blame God when people, religious or not, make choices?

I believe in coincidence, chance, and happenstance but I also think there are things too big to fall into those categories. The existence of the earth and everything on it: too complex and too slim of chances for all this to just happen without any assistance.

Have you ever studied the complexity with the rotation of the planets, their moons, and the solar systems? As objects move too close or too far, climates change and determine if life can be sustained. The size of a moon, its rotation, and its distance from a planet determines if it will orbit or it becomes a free floater.

The human body is amazing and man has nowhere near the knowledge to create anything that comes close to the why the human body works, let alone create life out of nothing. The cells, organs, molecules and everything else work together in such a way that its hard to believe in chance. Minimal changes cause terrible problems within the body. Our bodies have the potential to heal themselves within certain limits.

To me, just about everything we can observe here on Earth and in outer space around us are evidence that God exists and that he has a hand in ensuring the creation of the matter around us.

This time, hate won but I will continue in faith.

Yesterday was Election Day. Yesterday I filled out my ballot and hoped that what I was voting for was right. I wasn't sure about how I would feel about this election. The campaign trail was long and gruesome. Between the 2 major party candidates, the choice was between someone whose platform ideas I understood and shared (in a general sense although the actual plans for completing those platforms definitely could use work) but said terrible things and had done terrible things or someone whose platform I didn't agree with for the most part and had also said and done some terrible things. Neither option was pleasing to me. If I had to choose just between those 2, I would have chosen for the one whose platform I agreed with.

Over the past few elections, I seen or heard about people becoming extremely emotional by the outcomes. Again, this isn't something I have ever experienced. I think this is because of my religious upbringing and eternal perspective. I believe that God loves us and in order to help us grow and learn He allows us to experience trials and hardship. Sometimes these hardships are due to our own decisions, sometimes because of the decisions for others, and sometimes simply because they help us grow. This is where faith and perspective help me feel secure, happy, and confident. I understand that this life isn't the end game. I believe the laws of justice and mercy will ensure that everything works out when that appointed time comes. Part of faith is learning to continue doing what you believe is good and right even when things aren't going the way you plan.

Picture of the saying above my bed.

So this morning as I perused through Facebook, I struggled to understand people crying simply because one candidate lost. I was a little confused as to why they wondered what they would tell their kids about this election outcome. I couldn't understand why, when this president-elect hasn't done anything yet, people were so afraid. However, now I am beginning to see but my feelings aren't because of who won or who lost. Mine come because of what we as a people, as fellow Americans and human beings, are doing to each other. 

People who said they are against hate and couldn't vote for someone who spewed so much hate are now hating, bullying, and demeaning a group of people they blame for the election outcome. People who share the same race or ethnicity are anger and threatening violence against their own if they ever find out they voted for the president-elect. People are telling other people to pack their bags and leave the country; sometimes this is adults directed towards anyone who said they'd leave if that candidate won and others have been young adults directed towards classmates. Why would we treat each other so?

There is so much hating, judging, name calling, finger pointing, pouting, gloating, and other self-centered, bully like behavior going on that I am sure Satan is laughing with delight. As of right now, I feel like he is the only winner in this election. 

I just wish people would stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Instead of focusing on what they are feeling and going through, think about what others may be feeling and going through. Try to understand why they made the choice they did.  

As I watch the events unfold (riots, protests, threats, and more in addition to what people are posting online), I feel as though I am getting a glimpse of what Mormon, Ether and Moroni felt as they watched as their civilization divided into 2 groups and then started fighting. In their stories, after battles of who was right, they went to war. In Ether's tale, all but 2 people were killed. In Mormon and Moroni's tale, one side prevailed but only after extreme losses and in the process, they lost their humanity. Is this what it has come to? Are we destined to go this same route? I hope that we do not, "but if not" (Daniel 3:18) I know that God has a greater plan and if I trust in Him things may still be difficult but in the end, it will work out.

Perspective: Its About Point of View

I have often had this thought and after rereading this article, I loved how my thoughts were described by someone else. The following quotes come from portions of this talk given at a General Conference session for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

"Perspective is the way we see things when we look at them from a certain distance..." Depending on the distance, our perspective can change. "It is like being in a forest and having a tree in front of us. Unless we step back a little, we will not be able to appreciate what a forest really is."

When small children learn to work on puzzles, they often become frustrated when the pieces don't quickly and easily fit together. My own daughter has said that the puzzle is broken or missing pieces when she can't find ones that fit together.

Like the story about the forest, looking at only a few pieces in the puzzle makes it hard to see the big picture. But sometimes in order to put the pieces together, you need to focus on the the small pieces to see how they fit; to match up the edges and align the designs.

Even when multiple pieces are starting to come together, we can make guesses as to what the picture might contain and even have a pretty good idea of what the final image will be.

But until the entire puzzle is put together and finished, we cannot understand how or what effect the picture many have on us or appreciate the image or its complexity.

I have started to compare life to a giant puzzle. There are parts we understand and parts we don't. As we slowly connect these pieces together, we can see a theme or guess at what the general idea is about. However, it won't be until we connect all the pieces, in their correct places, that we will gain an understanding of the picture or plan before us.

We never know how much of our puzzle is complete especially when compared to someone else's puzzle or their standards. Sometimes we put the pieces together at different starting points and find it hard to make connects between what they see and think when compared to what we see and think. We won't be able to understand what others see or believe until we can see something from their perspective or use their process of thinking to see where they started and what path they used in order to reach their conclusions.

Will you still remember?

Why are we so worried about being remembered? I wish I knew. I just know that everyone has a desire to know they are thought about.

I first took notice of this while serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints down in Ecuador. Many of the people we visited with, whether they were members of the Church or if they had simply spoken with other missionaries, always asked if the other missionaries remembered them. These people carried with them pictures from those missionaries and spoke about them so much but doubted if they were remembered because they hadn't received a letter or a visit from the missionary. (Side note: most of the areas I worked in were so poor that a majority of the people didn't have telephones or internet. There weren't addresses on the houses or on the streets. Letters had to be mailed to other missionaries and delivered to the house, assuming someone in the area still knew the family.)

Others who worry about being remembered are those who lose a loved one too soon in life, especially a child. I have seen comments on other blogs that one way to support a loved one who has lost someone else is to show you remember the one they lost; by talking about them, by celebrating birthdays or anniversaries and such. I have heard these people comment that they worry they are starting to forget the person who has passed on because they didn't think about what to buy them at Easter, they don't know what their favorite food would have been, or because others around them don't remember these dates so special to them.

And still others concerned about whether they are remembered are those struggling with depression and sadness. I'm sure everyone has had at least one moment when they wish someone would notice them or think of them and when no one does, they wonder if others really see or remember them. Those that contemplate suicide often think of all the people they have known and one by one find a reason for that person to not know, wonder, or care about them. That's why many of these people don't call friends or family during these times of sadness and hurt. They feel, for whatever reason, that the other person wouldn't care or wouldn't remember them. They think if no one noticed them before, no one will notice when they are not around.

While I don't know why we are concerned with being remembered, I do believe that Satan uses this feeling and turns it against us. It's a way to make us feel alone and weak. It's a way to make us feel undervalued and forgettable. It's makes us feel unloved.

However, if I stop and think about all the people I have met and remember, I realize we had some sort of connection. And I have to believe that if they also felt a connection to me, they will remember me as well. I may not think of them all on a daily basis and some I may not think about for a long time but eventually with an old letter, a picture, a smell, an activity, an event, or whatever it may be, they are brought back into remembrance.

While I haven't sent a letter to anyone in Ecuador since I was married, I still think of the people there. I think about them often. I wonder what is going on in their lives. Are things better for them? Are they happy? I don't have constant or even regular contact with most of my friends and family but I do think of them. Friends and family who have passed on to the next life, I think of them. I may not remember birthdays or special anniversaries but I do remember the impact they had on my life. I also remember and see the impact they have on the lives of those closest to them.

Many of us use social media to help fight these feelings, but I don't feel like it has the desired effect we are looking for. We use social media to search out old and new friends, to be connected and stay appraised of other's lives but even with all of that we aren't actually making connections. We aren't using social media to "know" people the way we need to in order to feel that we are connected and remembered.

I am challenging myself to send a text, a voice mail, a picture, a thought, a meme, or even make a phone call when I have a memory of a person or run across a photo. Instead of waiting for friends, family or associates to reach out and remember me, I am trying to reach out to show that I remember them.

If you are one who is currently struggling and is feeling like you or someone near you is not being remembered, know that there is someone who remembers you, who loves you and who has a constant reminder of you. Isaiah 49:14-16 (Also 1 Nephi 21:14-16) "But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Our Plan of Salvation - trials

I have mentioned the Plan of Salvation before but given some recent and some not so recent events, I wanted to share some feelings and thoughts I have about the Plan. While there is one main Plan of Salvation that can be broken into its main components; pre-mortal life, the creation, the fall (of Adam), mortal life, Christ's Atonement, death, resurrection, and judgment, I also believe that each of us lives by our own Plan of Happiness that follows this same pattern.

I believe in our pre-mortal life we learned and lived as spirits. I believe part of our learning included what we would need to know to come to Earth and live here in order to return to our Father. During this time we were given agency, the ability to choose and act for ourselves. While we could learn about what this life might hold for us, we would not truly understand how hard the trials could be, how difficult temptations would be, and how that would affect our determination and resolve to return to our Heavenly Father. I also believe that as part of this learning, we were told about some trials and how they could help us and those around us. We knew that although some of these trials would cause something called hurt and pain, we knew this could secure the faith and knowledge of those surrounding us. Certain people choose to accept these challenges because they had so much love for the rest of us that they would sacrifice certain experiences in life so that we could be stronger.

Why do I believe this? Isn't that what both Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ did? "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever should believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." -John 3:16  and ..."O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt." - Matt 26:39. It appears that Christ knew what he had to do, but didn't truly understand the magnitude of what would happen to his physical body until he started to experience it and then because he wanted to be obedient and because he loved us and knew there was no other way, he continued to suffer in the Garden and the again on the cross.

People often question why would God allow these things to happen; someone so young and innocent to die, someone so loving to contract cancer, someone to survive accidents only to be handicapped. My answer to this is, they accepted the challenge to help those around them to learn the lessons they would need to grow into the people they need to become.

Because of the trials different family, friends and even I have faced, I have learned things that may have taken a lot longer for me to grasp. I have learned that children take their cues in life from the people who take care of them. They will stand tall and be brave when people treat them that way or they will act weak and not want to do anything for themselves when treated like that. I have learned that as a society we aren't paying enough attention to the people around us. How well do we know our neighbors, our cousins, nieces, school or work associates, etc? When do we start paying attention to them? I have learned that you don't need to talk every day, every week or even every year with someone to know they are a true friend and will stand by you and help you when you need it most.

 Trials cause us to focus on something and see things we might not have seen otherwise. Please look at your trials and difficult situations as a learning experience that will help you focus on what really matters in life. Sometimes we may not immediately see why we or others have passed through trials but I know I would hug and thank many people for allowing me to learn and grow because they accepted a tough trial.

Faith, not a belief or a religion but hope.

I hear many people refer to their religion as a faith. I have even posted things about faith on Facebook and had people comment about how they agree but don't subscribe to a faith. I generally don't use faith to describe a belief or a religion.

Recently, I was studying for a lesson that I was to teach about faith. Most of my studies provide me with a bunch of information for me, which I somehow manage to convert into child speak and understanding. Currently in the Church, I teach children ranging in ages from 3 - 12. But I believe that the better I understand something, the easier it is to teach in a way that others might understand. I want to share what I learned in my recent study about faith. 

Faith is a "hope for things which are not seen, which are true." (Alma 32:21, Hebrews 11:1) However, the way hope is used here is not the same way we use hope now. This hope has a level of certainty behind it, not "I hope my friend comes over." or "I hope I pass the test." This hope is something we truly believe in and something that we really want to happen so much that we use faith and do whatever it takes to obtain or achieve the thing we hope for.

A recent example. Once a year, the children ages 3-12 present a program in the Church and share what they have learned or things they were taught over the course of the year. It includes speaking parts and songs. Being one of the leaders of the children's group for our congregation, I was in charge of this program. One week before, we had our first run through practice with all the kids, their speaking parts, and the songs. The nicest way to describe it is chaotic. Over the next week, we bribed the kids to memorize their parts and held another practice the Saturday before the performance. This one was slightly better although we had just feed the kids pizza and allowed them to run around while everyone finished eating. I can say with this practice, at least the kids had their parts memorized and half of them sang the songs.

At this point, the other leaders and I had done what we could to prepare. We hoped things would work out but with kids, you never know. We had to trust that since we had worked to prepare and that we had seen other program work out in the past, our would too and the audience would be able to feel and understand the ideas presented in the program. I can tell you, somehow and I don't know how, the program went wonderful.

This is a small example of faith and an easier example of how to show faith. Many times we are asked to do things that are seemingly harder than we can handle. We have to remember that what may be hard for you may be easier for someone else, based on your talents, abilities, and past experiences.

I have faith that this life can be amazing even with its challenges and difficulties. I have faith that although this life may be hard, there is a life after we die that will more than make up for what we go through. So what do I do with my faith? I work hard to make sure life is amazing even with its challenges and then hope that amazing things happen. I work hard to follow what I believe will make the next life wonderful and hope that it will be enough for me to enjoy. Like all things, my faith will be tried and tested. Just because I want it won't make it so. Sometimes this amazing life hurts and I stumble but doesn't one bad moment, memory or choice make the rest of life not amazing? That's where faith is. 

Puzzle Pieces

I love doing puzzles. Anyone who really knows me knows that once I start one, I will work and focus (and sometimes zone out) until I am done. Since I know this about myself, I often avoid starting puzzles unless I have time to sit and work on it.

When I do a puzzle, I start with the edges (or the foundation). It gives a great starting place and give hints and ideas about where to go from there. Next, I move pieces into similar groupings; similar colors, similar themes, outlines of a main picture. This helps me focus on specific smaller areas and be able to work little by little. I have found that no matter how difficult the picture is, once I have filled it in to a certain point, the pieces almost fill in the rest of the puzzle by itself.

Recently I discovered that I am like this with the rest of my life. Whenever I am learning something new or increasing knowledge in a particular area, I start with a foundation and continue to fill in the pieces or group it with other similar information.

I have also done with the gospel taught by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There is so much information that when it is taught, it is usually by small pieces of information. It is our job to combine the information (fill in the puzzle pieces) to create the giant picture of what it looks like. I sometimes also do with my life. What will my life's puzzle look like once I have found and placed all the pieces together into a whole?

Many of these posts are me putting my puzzles together (I may also refer to it as connecting the dots). Gratefully, the puzzle pieces just keep coming and the picture keeps looking better and better. (See 2 Nephi 28:30 in the Book of Mormon: "For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more;")

What do you say to someone...

If you are like me, you know so many people who are going through so many different trials and challenges; sickness, divorce, death of loved ones, struggles with not being able to have kids, etc. I have always thought it was hard to know what to say to someone dealing with these kinds of trouble. Lately I have felt that even more so.

I have seen list after list of things not to say to a parent who has lost a kids, things not to say to someone who has all boys, things not to say to someone who has a terminally ill family member, things not to say to a couple who doesn't have children, etc. The list seems to grow longer and longer. There seems to be a new one every few weeks.  

Part of the problem, I believe, is that if you yourself haven't specifically dealt with one of those situations, you don't know what to say or how to deal with it. The best you can do is offer what you think you might like to hear or have offered to you if you were placed in that situation. 

What should I say? What should I do? When I am done reading these lists, I am left with a feeling that no matter what I say or do, it will never be good enough or will hurt the other person more. At this point, is it better to do or say nothing at all? 

I wanted to have kids before my husband and I were in a situation in which we would be ready. I was 27 years old and had been married for 2 years but didn't have kids. Sometimes in Mormon culture that is hard to deal with. Somehow along the way, some people believe women are supposed to get married by 21 and start having children immediately. Anyway, many times people would ask why we didn't have kids yet or when we were going to start having kids (because "you don't want to wait too long"). There were times when those questions really hurt because I did want to have kids. 

I don't believe any of those people intended to hurt me or cause me pain. As I look back now, I think I understand what would possess them to ask such personal questions. They simply wanted to form some sort of friendship and you do that by talking to and learning about the other person.

I try to believe that people are good. We don't want to see others suffer, we don't like feeling helpless, and occasionally, despite our best efforts, we may say or do something that unintentionally hurts or offends someone else. When someone says or does something that hurts or offends me, I try (and sometimes I need to be reminded) to remember that they probably had good intentions behind it. 

Why I cannot support Gay Marriage

Please be patient with me while I try to explain here. As I have said, to understand my choice some background information is necessary. My hope is to explain my choice with enough information but that does not grow too long or wordy. I ask that you read through the entire post before posting comments.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now while this doesn't give me license to not support gay marriage, there are things I have learned and believe that hopefully helps you understand my choice. I remind you, although I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I do not speak for the church. My reasoning and belief comes from things I have learned through studying the teachings. For official church stance or learn more about the teachings, please visit LDS.org, Mormon.org, or mormonnewsroom.org.

It took me a long time to write this post. All of these ideas have been floating around in my head for months. Some of the information has been there for years. Actually, it took me a long time to come to the decision to not support gay marriage. Back when the Church of Jesus Christ participated in the campaign in support of Proposition 8, I was extremely torn. I struggled with why they should be so concerned with people's legal right to marry. I wasn't sure I liked religion becoming so involved in political matters. A few years later after hearing stories of what has happened to some families and businesses that don't support gay marriage, I could see some of the concerns and possible actions that could affect the Church. It wasn't until the past year, after doing some serious studying and praying, that I came to my decision. Even then, I have been afraid to voice my opinion for fear of what friends, family, and supporters will think or say about me. Recently, after more studying and some inspiring words from church leaders (Ensign article, and several General Conference talks), I have decided to share my story and my reasons for fear of what might be in the next life.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints believe in a plan that was formulated before we born. This Plan of Salvation (aka plan of happiness, plan of redemption) teaches that we lived as spirits with God before, in what we call the pre-mortal life. We were taught many things and were given the gift of agency, the ability to choose to act for ourselves or be acted upon. We were taught that in order to progress, we would need to come to Earth to be tested and gain bodies. Because of these needs, families were and continue to be necessary. We had to be born here on earth, become mortal, to gain a body. Since God loves us and wants us to succeed, "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). If we choose to follow God's plan, we can one day (after birth and then death) return to live with God.

In order to help us on our way through our mortal life, God gave us commandments, or laws, that if obeyed would help guide us to return to Him. In order for there to be justice, a consequence (a blessing or punishment) needed to be affixed to each law/commandment. When we obey a commandment, we receive a blessing (in other words, reward). When we fail to obey a commandment, we commit sin. When we sin, we are no longer clean and cannot return to God's presence in the next life. Gratefully Jesus Christ paid for our sins and made a way for us to be clean again, but that is for another discussion.

Because of our agency, man's laws and God's laws don't always match up. That doesn't make God's laws wrong and man's right. Man's law will only last through this life while God's law will continue through all eternity.

After I finally put all this together, how can I support man's laws that give only the appearance of obeying God's law or allow people to feel as though they are making the right choice? How can I support laws that will lead friends, family, loved ones to disobey God's laws and therefore possibly keep them from returning to live with God in the next life? What kind of friend would I be to support laws that might jeopardize what I know to be the best thing, something that will last for eternity, in exchange for something that makes them feel happy now in this life? I cannot even imagine the shame and guilt I would feel in the next life, coming face to face with these people and having the conversation that might go something like this. "You knew about the plan. You knew what the potential consequences were and yet you choose not to do or say anything. You didn't even try. Why? If you love me so much, why wouldn't you do everything in your power to help me?"

As I said, this was very hard to write and even harder to share because I have friends and family who support gay marriage or who are gay and married. I love them all very much and have many happy memories of times we have shared. I believe that love is a natural thing and that many times we don't necessarily choose with whom we fall in love but I also know that the only way to find true happiness and to return to God's presence is to obey God's commandments no matter how hard it feels to obey them.

Although I cannot in good conscience support gay marriage, it doesn't mean I am not happy for those who are finding happiness now through the legal right to marry. I am happy for them as they live their lives, go to school, raise families, help and support the community. I am sadden to hear of stories where others have not been accepting of them and their choices. I hope they realize my love for them and that I want for them what I hope, believe, and know to be the true way to happiness.

Welcome to My Thoughts

Do you ever have those thoughts that just roll around in your head so much you think your head might just fall off because they bounce around so hard and so often? This has been happening to me more and more lately, so I needed a way for those thoughts to become formed and organized. Writing and sharing on this blog is my way to connect the dots, find out what dots are still missing, and needs to be filled in.

I decided to start this blog to keep my thoughts separated from my adventures. As you read, hopefully you'll understand more about me, about why I think and act the way I do, and why I started this blog.

I believe that tolerance is achieved by true understanding. Intolerance comes from a desire to be right or show someone else they are wrong. We have a desire to be right but shouldn't we also have a desire to be accepting and loving of others no matter how different we seem.

I hope that as I share my thoughts, you will feel inclined to share your thoughts with me either through emails, comments, texts, or phone calls. I love hearing what other people think just so that I can understand and have more empathy towards them.  Please share comments and questions but leave derogatory notes and insults out of this. My intent is not offense but hopefully an explanation that may lead to understanding.

NOTE: I have decided to occasionally post about things I believe in. I will try to remember to include references to books, scriptures and such for way I believe such things but will probably forgot much of the time. Also, there may be things I express that are my personal beliefs that may or may not have scholarly or spiritual backing.