Why I cannot support Gay Marriage

Please be patient with me while I try to explain here. As I have said, to understand my choice some background information is necessary. My hope is to explain my choice with enough information but that does not grow too long or wordy. I ask that you read through the entire post before posting comments.

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Now while this doesn't give me license to not support gay marriage, there are things I have learned and believe that hopefully helps you understand my choice. I remind you, although I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I do not speak for the church. My reasoning and belief comes from things I have learned through studying the teachings. For official church stance or learn more about the teachings, please visit LDS.org, Mormon.org, or mormonnewsroom.org.

It took me a long time to write this post. All of these ideas have been floating around in my head for months. Some of the information has been there for years. Actually, it took me a long time to come to the decision to not support gay marriage. Back when the Church of Jesus Christ participated in the campaign in support of Proposition 8, I was extremely torn. I struggled with why they should be so concerned with people's legal right to marry. I wasn't sure I liked religion becoming so involved in political matters. A few years later after hearing stories of what has happened to some families and businesses that don't support gay marriage, I could see some of the concerns and possible actions that could affect the Church. It wasn't until the past year, after doing some serious studying and praying, that I came to my decision. Even then, I have been afraid to voice my opinion for fear of what friends, family, and supporters will think or say about me. Recently, after more studying and some inspiring words from church leaders (Ensign article, and several General Conference talks), I have decided to share my story and my reasons for fear of what might be in the next life.

Members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints believe in a plan that was formulated before we born. This Plan of Salvation (aka plan of happiness, plan of redemption) teaches that we lived as spirits with God before, in what we call the pre-mortal life. We were taught many things and were given the gift of agency, the ability to choose to act for ourselves or be acted upon. We were taught that in order to progress, we would need to come to Earth to be tested and gain bodies. Because of these needs, families were and continue to be necessary. We had to be born here on earth, become mortal, to gain a body. Since God loves us and wants us to succeed, "God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World). If we choose to follow God's plan, we can one day (after birth and then death) return to live with God.

In order to help us on our way through our mortal life, God gave us commandments, or laws, that if obeyed would help guide us to return to Him. In order for there to be justice, a consequence (a blessing or punishment) needed to be affixed to each law/commandment. When we obey a commandment, we receive a blessing (in other words, reward). When we fail to obey a commandment, we commit sin. When we sin, we are no longer clean and cannot return to God's presence in the next life. Gratefully Jesus Christ paid for our sins and made a way for us to be clean again, but that is for another discussion.

Because of our agency, man's laws and God's laws don't always match up. That doesn't make God's laws wrong and man's right. Man's law will only last through this life while God's law will continue through all eternity.

After I finally put all this together, how can I support man's laws that give only the appearance of obeying God's law or allow people to feel as though they are making the right choice? How can I support laws that will lead friends, family, loved ones to disobey God's laws and therefore possibly keep them from returning to live with God in the next life? What kind of friend would I be to support laws that might jeopardize what I know to be the best thing, something that will last for eternity, in exchange for something that makes them feel happy now in this life? I cannot even imagine the shame and guilt I would feel in the next life, coming face to face with these people and having the conversation that might go something like this. "You knew about the plan. You knew what the potential consequences were and yet you choose not to do or say anything. You didn't even try. Why? If you love me so much, why wouldn't you do everything in your power to help me?"

As I said, this was very hard to write and even harder to share because I have friends and family who support gay marriage or who are gay and married. I love them all very much and have many happy memories of times we have shared. I believe that love is a natural thing and that many times we don't necessarily choose with whom we fall in love but I also know that the only way to find true happiness and to return to God's presence is to obey God's commandments no matter how hard it feels to obey them.

Although I cannot in good conscience support gay marriage, it doesn't mean I am not happy for those who are finding happiness now through the legal right to marry. I am happy for them as they live their lives, go to school, raise families, help and support the community. I am sadden to hear of stories where others have not been accepting of them and their choices. I hope they realize my love for them and that I want for them what I hope, believe, and know to be the true way to happiness.