Accepting and Asking for Help

In front of me in a church meeting today sat a family. At the beginning of the meeting, both parents were there with their 5 kids. Sometime in the middle of the meeting, the father left with the youngest child leaving the mother with 4 boys (who all appeared to be under the age of 10). The younger 2 boys were doing their best but having a hard time sitting still. I understand. My 3 year old was also struggling. Several times throughout the meeting, the mother took one or both of the younger boys out into the hallways to release a little energy. The final time she took them out was just as the meeting was wrapping up. There were toys, crayons, pencils, and paper everywhere on the floor. That's how things are with young kids. I walked up to the 2 older boys, who had been coloring quietly through the meeting, and asked them to help me pick up their stuff. I thought this would help the other mother so she wouldn't have to come in from caring for the other 2 boys and then gather everything. Soon another mom and her family (father and 2 teenage kids) were helping. We had everything picked up in a matter of moments. Then I sat waiting with the boys until their mother returned. As she walked in, she made a few comments that I think are common thoughts. "Oh I'm so embarrassed." "You didn't need to do that." "We could have cleaned it up." and a few others. I have had these same thoughts before.

Another time in a meeting for women, we were all sharing things that are hard for us or things we struggle with. Many of the women mentioned they have a hard time asking for and accepting help. After this meeting, I started wondering why it is so hard to ask for or accept help from others. Because of this, I find myself thinking about this when I need to ask for help or when I am avoiding asking for help. 

Somehow in society, we have decided that asking for help means we are in over our heads or that can't take care of it ourselves. However, most people giving service don't feel this way. Today I helped that family, not because I thought the mother was struggling or because she wasn't doing a good job or because she couldn't have done it herself. I helped because she didn't need to stay later cleaning up after she had been caring for the others. I helped because my husband was still in the room with my kids and he could help them while I helped her kids. I helped because when I have been in similar situations I wanted nothing more to be able to go and let my kids be kids and this way she could quicker.  I helped because we are all in this together, helping and supporting each other.

Although, there have been plenty of times I have not asked for help or had to force myself to be grateful for help when it wasn't super helpful. (Think kids learning to fold laundry and put away clothes.)