Will you still remember?

Why are we so worried about being remembered? I wish I knew. I just know that everyone has a desire to know they are thought about.

I first took notice of this while serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints down in Ecuador. Many of the people we visited with, whether they were members of the Church or if they had simply spoken with other missionaries, always asked if the other missionaries remembered them. These people carried with them pictures from those missionaries and spoke about them so much but doubted if they were remembered because they hadn't received a letter or a visit from the missionary. (Side note: most of the areas I worked in were so poor that a majority of the people didn't have telephones or internet. There weren't addresses on the houses or on the streets. Letters had to be mailed to other missionaries and delivered to the house, assuming someone in the area still knew the family.)

Others who worry about being remembered are those who lose a loved one too soon in life, especially a child. I have seen comments on other blogs that one way to support a loved one who has lost someone else is to show you remember the one they lost; by talking about them, by celebrating birthdays or anniversaries and such. I have heard these people comment that they worry they are starting to forget the person who has passed on because they didn't think about what to buy them at Easter, they don't know what their favorite food would have been, or because others around them don't remember these dates so special to them.

And still others concerned about whether they are remembered are those struggling with depression and sadness. I'm sure everyone has had at least one moment when they wish someone would notice them or think of them and when no one does, they wonder if others really see or remember them. Those that contemplate suicide often think of all the people they have known and one by one find a reason for that person to not know, wonder, or care about them. That's why many of these people don't call friends or family during these times of sadness and hurt. They feel, for whatever reason, that the other person wouldn't care or wouldn't remember them. They think if no one noticed them before, no one will notice when they are not around.

While I don't know why we are concerned with being remembered, I do believe that Satan uses this feeling and turns it against us. It's a way to make us feel alone and weak. It's a way to make us feel undervalued and forgettable. It's makes us feel unloved.

However, if I stop and think about all the people I have met and remember, I realize we had some sort of connection. And I have to believe that if they also felt a connection to me, they will remember me as well. I may not think of them all on a daily basis and some I may not think about for a long time but eventually with an old letter, a picture, a smell, an activity, an event, or whatever it may be, they are brought back into remembrance.

While I haven't sent a letter to anyone in Ecuador since I was married, I still think of the people there. I think about them often. I wonder what is going on in their lives. Are things better for them? Are they happy? I don't have constant or even regular contact with most of my friends and family but I do think of them. Friends and family who have passed on to the next life, I think of them. I may not remember birthdays or special anniversaries but I do remember the impact they had on my life. I also remember and see the impact they have on the lives of those closest to them.

Many of us use social media to help fight these feelings, but I don't feel like it has the desired effect we are looking for. We use social media to search out old and new friends, to be connected and stay appraised of other's lives but even with all of that we aren't actually making connections. We aren't using social media to "know" people the way we need to in order to feel that we are connected and remembered.

I am challenging myself to send a text, a voice mail, a picture, a thought, a meme, or even make a phone call when I have a memory of a person or run across a photo. Instead of waiting for friends, family or associates to reach out and remember me, I am trying to reach out to show that I remember them.

If you are one who is currently struggling and is feeling like you or someone near you is not being remembered, know that there is someone who remembers you, who loves you and who has a constant reminder of you. Isaiah 49:14-16 (Also 1 Nephi 21:14-16) "But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Listening to the Still, Small Voice

Often at church, we are instructed to be aware of the promptings (as inspiration or revelation) of the Holy Ghost to help us throughout life. Many times, this comes as feelings but sometimes it comes as a voice.  I always thought if I heard the voice, it would be one sent to keep me or family safe or that it would instruct me on how to make major decisions in my life. Until recently, I didn't ever think that voice would come as what seemed like random bits and pieces of information, that at times seemed to go against logic.

During times of the when I had major decisions to make, a combination of circumstance, logical thinking, and feelings worked together to guide my path. They all worked together. As I continue to study and learn more about the love that God has for us His children, I have learned He will give help for those things we ask for through prayer.

Many times I pray for help to make it through the day, keep organized so I can complete tasks I want, and for help in being a good mom. Most of the time, I do things I have learned, read, or been taught throughout my life and I see these things happen over time. Although it is not immediate or a huge change, these are still answers to my prayers.

Back to the point of this post, recently I have noticed a small voice or thought that prompts me to do something I wasn't planning on doing. Sometimes I follow through because it makes sense, I can follow the logic behind the thought. However there are some times when I ignore these thoughts or push them aside because "that doesn't make sense" or "someone would have said something". In the past, I have dismissed these thoughts as me being crazy because why would God be concerned with helping me on such everyday life things.

Here are the 2 examples that come to mind immediately. Back when we lived in another state, packing to visit was very stressful and I tried to do so carefully because of the distance traveled or amount a space available. One time I remember as I was packing, I had the thought to grab our swimsuits. I dismissed the thought with we won't be there long, that's extra packing (because it was swimsuits, swim diapers, etc), and it was winter. However, while we were here, my sister suggested that we go swimming instead of just hanging out playing. Had I listened to that voice instead of my logic, we would have been able to go. Was this life altering? Did not going swimming make me a bad mom? No, but it was still an answer to a prayer to be prepared.

The next one was just this week. In a place where cold weather and snow is common during the winter, this year has been unusually warm and dry. My daughter's preschool had done a unit on water, rain, and snow and as part of it wanted to play in the snow. Because there hadn't been a lot of snow, the outdoor activities kept getting pushed back until snow arrived. Over the weekend, we received that snow. I had remembered her teacher talking about playing in the snow once it happened but I figured she would notify us (by email or text) of the day they were going to play so we send the kids to school prepared. Since it had snowed, I had my daughter grab her coat and wear her snow boots. I placed her hat and snow gloves in her backpack just in case it was cold while they waited to be dropped off and picked up. As I was walking out the door, the thought "pack her snow pants" came to me. Of course I brushed it off as "the teacher would have said something." As I was dropping my daughter off, I noticed kids in the first car and second cars get out in full snow suits and carrying sleds. When it was our turn, I asked if the kids were going to play in the snow today and the teacher responded yes. My choices now were drive home and return with the pants (and the outside layer of her snow coat) or let her play in the snow with just her regular pants. Had I listened to the small thought (voice), I could have just handed the pants over and returned home. Again, an answer to help me use time wisely and be able to do everything I wanted that day and I had ignored it.

Again, these were not big situations or problems but they were responses from a loving father giving because I had asked for them. When they were given, I ignored them. I now have a goal to strive to follow those thoughts, no matter how silly, illogical, or small they seem. I have been grateful when I have followed those thoughts to "grab the Children's Tylenol and cold medicine", "pack sunscreen", or "make sure there are snacks and drinks in the car." When I follow, I am prepared for whatever comes my way; a quick onset cold, a random sunny day with a passerby in need of protection, or a snow storm combined with an accident that prevent us from eating a meal at a regular time. There will be times I may not see or understand how it was an answer to a prayer or a blessing for me and others it becomes quite obvious but at least I will have used the help giving to me when I asked for it.