This time, hate won but I will continue in faith.

Yesterday was Election Day. Yesterday I filled out my ballot and hoped that what I was voting for was right. I wasn't sure about how I would feel about this election. The campaign trail was long and gruesome. Between the 2 major party candidates, the choice was between someone whose platform ideas I understood and shared (in a general sense although the actual plans for completing those platforms definitely could use work) but said terrible things and had done terrible things or someone whose platform I didn't agree with for the most part and had also said and done some terrible things. Neither option was pleasing to me. If I had to choose just between those 2, I would have chosen for the one whose platform I agreed with.

Over the past few elections, I seen or heard about people becoming extremely emotional by the outcomes. Again, this isn't something I have ever experienced. I think this is because of my religious upbringing and eternal perspective. I believe that God loves us and in order to help us grow and learn He allows us to experience trials and hardship. Sometimes these hardships are due to our own decisions, sometimes because of the decisions for others, and sometimes simply because they help us grow. This is where faith and perspective help me feel secure, happy, and confident. I understand that this life isn't the end game. I believe the laws of justice and mercy will ensure that everything works out when that appointed time comes. Part of faith is learning to continue doing what you believe is good and right even when things aren't going the way you plan.

Picture of the saying above my bed.

So this morning as I perused through Facebook, I struggled to understand people crying simply because one candidate lost. I was a little confused as to why they wondered what they would tell their kids about this election outcome. I couldn't understand why, when this president-elect hasn't done anything yet, people were so afraid. However, now I am beginning to see but my feelings aren't because of who won or who lost. Mine come because of what we as a people, as fellow Americans and human beings, are doing to each other. 

People who said they are against hate and couldn't vote for someone who spewed so much hate are now hating, bullying, and demeaning a group of people they blame for the election outcome. People who share the same race or ethnicity are anger and threatening violence against their own if they ever find out they voted for the president-elect. People are telling other people to pack their bags and leave the country; sometimes this is adults directed towards anyone who said they'd leave if that candidate won and others have been young adults directed towards classmates. Why would we treat each other so?

There is so much hating, judging, name calling, finger pointing, pouting, gloating, and other self-centered, bully like behavior going on that I am sure Satan is laughing with delight. As of right now, I feel like he is the only winner in this election. 

I just wish people would stop for a moment and take a deep breath. Instead of focusing on what they are feeling and going through, think about what others may be feeling and going through. Try to understand why they made the choice they did.  

As I watch the events unfold (riots, protests, threats, and more in addition to what people are posting online), I feel as though I am getting a glimpse of what Mormon, Ether and Moroni felt as they watched as their civilization divided into 2 groups and then started fighting. In their stories, after battles of who was right, they went to war. In Ether's tale, all but 2 people were killed. In Mormon and Moroni's tale, one side prevailed but only after extreme losses and in the process, they lost their humanity. Is this what it has come to? Are we destined to go this same route? I hope that we do not, "but if not" (Daniel 3:18) I know that God has a greater plan and if I trust in Him things may still be difficult but in the end, it will work out.

What's your story?

A couple weeks ago, Jake was reading a book he had ordered online and found that 2-3 pages were half missing. After the company sent him a new book, he had me read him the missing pages while we were driving. I want to share part of the story. It's from "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. 

The basic premise of the story is what the author learned about life while learning about how to convert one of his books into a screenplay for a movie. In this chapter, the author is talking with a friend about the friend's struggles with his teenage daughter (13 years old). The friend was frustrated because recently they found pot in the daughter's closet, the guy she was dating wasn't help guide her to a better life, and she wasn't involved with the family at all. Any type of punishment or corrective action was making things seem worse. The author then says the friend's daughter "was living a terrible story." When the friend questioned what he meant, the author explains that he had recently learned a story is about a "character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it." Then the author says the daughter must just be caught up in a bad story. Interestingly, the author wasn't aware of the impact this talk had on his friend. 

A few months later, the friend and his family were doing better. The friend explained that he helped create a better story for his daughter. The daughter didn't have a part that she felt was important and so she went looking for a story that made her feel wanted and appreciated, not matter what the consequences. "In the absence of a family story, she's chosen a story in which there was risk and adventure, rebellion and independence...people can't live without a story, without a role to play."

This got me thinking, what kind of story am I living? What kind of story am I creating for my children, family, and friends? How many people, children, teenagers, and even adults, are stuck in a bad story? How can I help create a better story? 

I don't have the all answers yet but I know that being involved and helping them feel important will help in creating heroes and develop better stories. There are times when I think "My story is so boring. No one would ever want to read or watch my story." During these times, I try to remember that not every part is written into a story and my story is a lot longer than just this mortal life. Its often a matter of perspective and remember that we are the masters of  our stories all while playing parts in the stories of others. 

Will you still remember?

Why are we so worried about being remembered? I wish I knew. I just know that everyone has a desire to know they are thought about.

I first took notice of this while serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints down in Ecuador. Many of the people we visited with, whether they were members of the Church or if they had simply spoken with other missionaries, always asked if the other missionaries remembered them. These people carried with them pictures from those missionaries and spoke about them so much but doubted if they were remembered because they hadn't received a letter or a visit from the missionary. (Side note: most of the areas I worked in were so poor that a majority of the people didn't have telephones or internet. There weren't addresses on the houses or on the streets. Letters had to be mailed to other missionaries and delivered to the house, assuming someone in the area still knew the family.)

Others who worry about being remembered are those who lose a loved one too soon in life, especially a child. I have seen comments on other blogs that one way to support a loved one who has lost someone else is to show you remember the one they lost; by talking about them, by celebrating birthdays or anniversaries and such. I have heard these people comment that they worry they are starting to forget the person who has passed on because they didn't think about what to buy them at Easter, they don't know what their favorite food would have been, or because others around them don't remember these dates so special to them.

And still others concerned about whether they are remembered are those struggling with depression and sadness. I'm sure everyone has had at least one moment when they wish someone would notice them or think of them and when no one does, they wonder if others really see or remember them. Those that contemplate suicide often think of all the people they have known and one by one find a reason for that person to not know, wonder, or care about them. That's why many of these people don't call friends or family during these times of sadness and hurt. They feel, for whatever reason, that the other person wouldn't care or wouldn't remember them. They think if no one noticed them before, no one will notice when they are not around.

While I don't know why we are concerned with being remembered, I do believe that Satan uses this feeling and turns it against us. It's a way to make us feel alone and weak. It's a way to make us feel undervalued and forgettable. It's makes us feel unloved.

However, if I stop and think about all the people I have met and remember, I realize we had some sort of connection. And I have to believe that if they also felt a connection to me, they will remember me as well. I may not think of them all on a daily basis and some I may not think about for a long time but eventually with an old letter, a picture, a smell, an activity, an event, or whatever it may be, they are brought back into remembrance.

While I haven't sent a letter to anyone in Ecuador since I was married, I still think of the people there. I think about them often. I wonder what is going on in their lives. Are things better for them? Are they happy? I don't have constant or even regular contact with most of my friends and family but I do think of them. Friends and family who have passed on to the next life, I think of them. I may not remember birthdays or special anniversaries but I do remember the impact they had on my life. I also remember and see the impact they have on the lives of those closest to them.

Many of us use social media to help fight these feelings, but I don't feel like it has the desired effect we are looking for. We use social media to search out old and new friends, to be connected and stay appraised of other's lives but even with all of that we aren't actually making connections. We aren't using social media to "know" people the way we need to in order to feel that we are connected and remembered.

I am challenging myself to send a text, a voice mail, a picture, a thought, a meme, or even make a phone call when I have a memory of a person or run across a photo. Instead of waiting for friends, family or associates to reach out and remember me, I am trying to reach out to show that I remember them.

If you are one who is currently struggling and is feeling like you or someone near you is not being remembered, know that there is someone who remembers you, who loves you and who has a constant reminder of you. Isaiah 49:14-16 (Also 1 Nephi 21:14-16) "But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me. Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."