Accepting and Asking for Help

In front of me in a church meeting today sat a family. At the beginning of the meeting, both parents were there with their 5 kids. Sometime in the middle of the meeting, the father left with the youngest child leaving the mother with 4 boys (who all appeared to be under the age of 10). The younger 2 boys were doing their best but having a hard time sitting still. I understand. My 3 year old was also struggling. Several times throughout the meeting, the mother took one or both of the younger boys out into the hallways to release a little energy. The final time she took them out was just as the meeting was wrapping up. There were toys, crayons, pencils, and paper everywhere on the floor. That's how things are with young kids. I walked up to the 2 older boys, who had been coloring quietly through the meeting, and asked them to help me pick up their stuff. I thought this would help the other mother so she wouldn't have to come in from caring for the other 2 boys and then gather everything. Soon another mom and her family (father and 2 teenage kids) were helping. We had everything picked up in a matter of moments. Then I sat waiting with the boys until their mother returned. As she walked in, she made a few comments that I think are common thoughts. "Oh I'm so embarrassed." "You didn't need to do that." "We could have cleaned it up." and a few others. I have had these same thoughts before.

Another time in a meeting for women, we were all sharing things that are hard for us or things we struggle with. Many of the women mentioned they have a hard time asking for and accepting help. After this meeting, I started wondering why it is so hard to ask for or accept help from others. Because of this, I find myself thinking about this when I need to ask for help or when I am avoiding asking for help. 

Somehow in society, we have decided that asking for help means we are in over our heads or that can't take care of it ourselves. However, most people giving service don't feel this way. Today I helped that family, not because I thought the mother was struggling or because she wasn't doing a good job or because she couldn't have done it herself. I helped because she didn't need to stay later cleaning up after she had been caring for the others. I helped because my husband was still in the room with my kids and he could help them while I helped her kids. I helped because when I have been in similar situations I wanted nothing more to be able to go and let my kids be kids and this way she could quicker.  I helped because we are all in this together, helping and supporting each other.

Although, there have been plenty of times I have not asked for help or had to force myself to be grateful for help when it wasn't super helpful. (Think kids learning to fold laundry and put away clothes.)  

Good, Better, Best... or Just Different

If I were to ask which is the most important body part, what would you answer? The brain controls everything but without muscles, nerves, skin, and bones it wouldn't have anything to direct. The heart provides blood with all the nutrients but without lunges, our body wouldn't have needed oxygen. Legs may move us from place to place, but are nothing without the previously mentioned organs. Every part of the body is needed to help the body work to full capacity. Even when there are parts that don't work, are misshapen, or have other issues, this doesn't make the body as a whole less useful. It is different and can be of value given the right situation. 

So why do we place things in a hierarchy of good, better, best? More importantly, why do we place higher value to certain people over others? Is it their clothes? Their job? How much money they make, have saved, give to charity? Is it the number of people how know about you? What about their intelligence? Art abilities? Athletic abilities? What gives people their value?

I have grown up believing that all people are valuable and that God care about all of us. As His children, we have divine qualities and royal lineage. Just as importantly, we have individual worth. We have value because of our divine qualities and royal lineage but our individuality makes us different, unique, and special. They don't decrease our value. Actually, the increase it. Like the body, any one part by itself may work to its greatest capacity but still not be able to reach its full potential without the other parts of the body. 

So why do we treat people better or worse based on what value we've given them? 

It's happened throughout all of history. People who were considered less valuable were conquered and made slaves, or killed. Now I can't say for sure but I assume that's what happened with the Native Americans and the African Slaves in the beginning of modern times in North America. Boats of people showed up in "modern clothing" and with knowledge and technology. They had written language and long distance sailing capabilities. They found groups of people wearing clothing from items directly from the land. Their language sounded more primitive and they lacked a written history. The people were often more nomadic in nature or lived in basic dwellings. The new arrivals determined the others were of less value or put the land to better use and so they captured the natives and took them away from their land or took their land away from them. They had decided these people were of less value. 

We are seeing similar mentalities today. Groups of people are determined to have less value because of their beliefs, because of the actions of others who look like them, because they don't live up to the clothing standards arbitrarily set by a group of people, or any number of things. Now that this value has been assigned, the people are treated that way. It's very heartbreaking to see. 

What if we change that way of thinking? Instead of placing value on people we looked at them and said "they are different and that's ok. I wonder how they can help or benefit society." Maybe then the  only judgments passed on a person would be based on that person's actions and only more of an assessment. 

I wonder if we thought of the people of the world as parts to the same body, all performing different but important functions. When a part of the body isn't working right, some areas compensate while others rush to the aid of the injured or ailing part. 

This is how I try to teach my children. When they comment about clothing, language/accent, ability/disability, or any other characteristic we talk about how that makes them different but then we talk about how they still do things similar to us and how they might be able to do things better. Different makes us unique and special but does not make us greater or less than someone else.  

Right to Life?

I recently had a conversation with someone over social media about a very divided topic; abortion. I was trying to understand something I had heard recently and during the course of this conversation, I learned some interesting things and these things I think lead down a scary path so I wanted to share.

I asked how anyone who believes, trusts, and uses sciences can support abortion. Science has given criteria to determine if something is living or inanimate. Humans, and human cells, are both considered living by these standards. The minute the sperm and egg combine, a zygote is formed. At no time in this process does either the sperm, the egg, or the forming zygote cease to be living. This zygote has a different set of genes than either parent. This qualifies it as a separate being from the mother. While the mother is the host and allows the zygote/embryo/fetus to grow and survive, the zygote/embryo/fetus is a living entity separate from the mother.

This is how I believe and how I understand what I have learned. In this conversation, the other person was trying to explain their beliefs. First, they claimed that the zygote/embryo couldn't be considered living as it has no brain wave activity/neural activity. However, this isn't a classification for something to be considered living. They then tried to determine when a zygote/embryo should be considered living by determining when a human is considered dead. This approach doesn't make much sense to me. Cells are living. When they combine, they don't die. They don't not live for any amount of time.

While I appreciated someone taking the time and sharing the research they had found, I didn't agree. Mostly because they were changing definitions to meet the criteria they were studying. Researching to find things that they subjectively determined.

The part of the conversation that frightened me the most was when they shared how some scientists are trying to determine what they call a "right to life." When should something be "living" or "alive enough" to have the right to remain so. Why this is so scary is because now this living, unborn fetus somehow doesn't have the "right to life" so then its ok for us to kill it. As this was explained to me in our conversation, I was shocked. The first thing that came into my head was "Isn't this exactly what started the U.S. and German eugenics programs? Isn't this why there was slavery? Isn't thinking like this what lead to so many other horrible things in history?"

If you don't know, eugenics is "the science of improving a human population by controlled breeding to increase the occurrence of desirable heritable characteristics" (Google dictionary).  This was practiced during times of slavery to try and create stronger, healthier slaves. Generally done in awful ways such as forced rape of slaves. At the beginning of the 20th century, the U.S. and Germany worked on a different eugenics program. This program was forced sterilization of persons who were considered mentally slow or of lower intelligence. It was all in the name of doing what was best for society; increasing intelligence, removing those who would be considered a burden, etc.

Abortion is turning into this same thing. Iceland and Denmark are having record low incidences of children with Down syndrome being born because their healthcare systems require doctors to offer genetic testing that can identify genetic irregularities. The majority of mothers-to-be receive this testing and then almost all of these women are aborting the fetuses determined to have issues. All of this is covered by their healthcare. And all in the name of removing some "undue burden" on the mother. (I have heard the "undue burden" debate in other conversations about abortion meaning the state or government doesn't have the power to take away a woman's right to an abortion given the undue burdens of emotional, fiscal, physical and other stresses pregnancy and subsequent birth place on a woman.)

I just don't understand how one group of people can arbitrarily decide when someone else has the "right to life".

God and Science; Laws and Agency

Because of science, we know there are natural laws all around us that governs nature. Laws are systems of rules that constitute how nature will behave. Some of these laws are the law of gravity, law of conservation of mass, laws of thermodynamic. These are set and unchanging. The only way to change the outcome is to change the input. For example, the amount of gravity present on a celestial body, like a moon or planet is determined by the mass and speed at which it rotates. This is why humans would seemingly weigh less or more on different planets; its due to the amount of gravity acting upon their body.

I believe in God. I believe He created all things. Many people believe this contradicts everything in science but I would disagree. What if God knew ALL the laws of nature and science, even ones we haven't discovered yet? Suppose He understood how changing one factor in the equation would determine the outcome. If He does have all that knowledge then wouldn't He be able to use that knowledge to control the formation of galaxies, stars, planets, and then life of those planets? Isn't that what our scientists do now in experiments; they take the information about the laws they have, change parts of the equation until they receive the desired outcome?

As part of the plan of salvation, God gave us agency, the ability and privilege to choose and act for ourselves and not to be acted upon. I believe this is because we learn better, grow faster (intellectually and emotionally), and remember the lessons more as we choose to work and study and even make mistakes. While this allows us to progress better, it also means that He cannot control the outcomes of our choices without violating these laws. Sadly, this is why some people claim that God is not loving, that God is changing, or that He doesn't exist; why would He allow bad things to happen?

However, one of God's purposes is to help us, His children, progress and return to Him. Now since God knows and understands how all these laws work and what the outcomes will be in given situations, I'm sure He knows what will affect us, both our spirits and physical bodies, in ways that would prevent us from returning to Him. For this reason, He gave and continues to give commandments and counsel to prophets in order to help us follow natural laws that we don't understand yet. Sometimes it is hard when there is a commandment that we don't understand or we can't see the direct, indirect, immediate or delayed effect of not obeying that commandment, but that is why God has asked us to have faith. He asks that we trust Him and we trust that He truly wants what is best for us, regardless of what the societal norms may be at the time.

As I was writing this, another thought came to mind. How fair is grading, judgment, or scoring when its subjective? As humans, we know how hard being impartial can be. So what if having these laws allows God's judgment to change from being subjective to objective meaning the outcomes of of our choices are solely determined on the choices we make in this life?

If we see as God sees or understand laws as God does, would we make the same choices? If we could know the definitive outcome of our choices, would we make the same ones?

Additional scripture resources: Book of Mormon 2 Nephi 2, Alma 42

God is an explanation! (Does God exist: part 2)

Sometimes I wish I knew a bit more about computer algorithms but most of the time I'm ok as long as they work right. I'm not sure how, I mean I have a small idea/theory bit it, but on the explore option on Instagram I have been seeing some strange accounts pop-up based on what I "like" and what I follow. These are posts about extreme political affiliations, holistic or vegan lifestyles, conspiracy theories, and atheism. On occasion, I read them and even sometimes I have commented. I like learning about what other people think and why.

But what made me want to add to an earlier post was some internal insight I gained while looking at one of these posts. It was from an atheist account. The post starts with "'God' is not an explanation." I couldn't comment on the account because it would take too much space but also I have tried that before and although the owner claims "question everything" and "open mindedness" they are unwilling to hear anything about God that goes against their current beliefs. I still wanted to share how I see things.

I say God is an explanation. What I am about to explain are my personal opinions (as I state frequently) but it also a theory, one that has evidences and not much proof.

The Bible teaches that God is all-knowing. Given that assumption, wouldn't He know exactly how and why all the laws of nature and science work? Wouldn't He know how to influence or introduce catalysts in ways that would organize and form worlds, bring about life, and cause life to evolve? With this, wouldn't He know which laws would benefit us and which could hurt us?

The Bible also teaches that God is just and no respecter of persons. That means we, everyone, gets what they deserve (cause and effect) and He doesn't play favorites. Now say someone is more willing to listen and follows His commandments (which are meant to lead and direct us to keeping the laws of nature that benefit us), it seems like a blessing to believers and that God favors them but to non-believers simple good fortune. Are there non-believers who inadvertently obey these laws (and the corresponding commandments) who still receive the same benefits as the believers? Yes. He is not respecter of persons. They met the requirements for the law to take affect.

Because God is just, He obeys the laws. He gave us agency and allows us to learn from and deal with the consequences of our's and other's choices. He will not interfere with these laws but will offer guidance on what to do to set the right conditions for the laws to give the desired results. Faith and gifts of the spirit are seemingly possible outcomes to obeying certain laws that allow the person the ability to use knowledge God has to perform miracles as seen in miracles of healing and such.

His desire is for us to learn and understand these laws. To connect how life acts and interacts. Some of the answers are their within reach and some are a little farther out for the time being.

Do I know, understand, or have explanations that happen for everything? No I don't. But I believe that God does. I believe that one day I have the potential to know as He does. That is why I have faith and that is why I trust His counsels. God is an explanation especially when science tells us that something is near impossible/highly improbable.

Plan of Salvation - After death

"... but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes." - Benjamin Franklin

Death is definitively certain in this world. There aren't many who have escaped it. However, death is part of the plan of salvation. The way the members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints understand death is simple. Since we are made up of an eternal spirit and a mortal body, death is the eternal spirit leaving our body. The mortal body remains here and the spirit travels to another place. 

The way I understand it is our spirit then goes the spirit world, to either a temporary paradise or prison based on our life choices. Spirit paradise is a place where we will rest from daily cares and problems. We won't be plagued by physical infirmities however we will long for our bodies and we still won't be back with God, yet. Other spirits will be sent to a spirit prison. I imagine these spirits feel trapped and guilt ridden because of their choices. While paradise and prison sound similar to traditional views of heaven and hell, there are distinct differences. The spirit world is a temporary gathering place; not a permanent assignment. I imagine rather than being a place of perfectness or of punishment, paradise and prison are more mental than actual places. (Alma 40:7-14, 21)

After spending time in the spirit world, everyone at their appointed time, will be resurrected. Everyone who received a physical body that is. These bodies will look like our bodies now because they are our bodies but they will be perfected according to the laws of nature. (Alma 11:40-45.) We can expect this because Jesus Christ broke the bands of death and gifted it to us, as reward for following him in the pre-mortal life. What a glorious gift, that we might all have perfect physical bodies for eternity!

The scriptures talk about both death and hell. Above I said that spirit prison isn't quite like the traditional hell, so what do I believe about hell? While death is the separation of our physical bodies from our spirits, hell is the separation of our spirits from God, or Heavenly Father.  This hell, sometimes referred to as spiritual death, has been overcome by Jesus Christ as well. However whether or not we receive this gift or not depends on our faithfulness during the current Earth life. If we can follow His laws and commandments, He will unlock the gates of the spiritual death that would keep us from returning to live with God. 

After being resurrected, everyone will stand before God to be judged on how well we obeyed the laws. Justice will be served and since we don't obey all the laws all the time, we should be punished. However, like I said before, Jesus Christ already paid for the times we broke the law. He accepted our punishment if we accept Him and because He loves us, if we do those things He has asked us to do in this Earth life, He will step forward during judgment and provide us with mercy. He will show we have completed the terms of our agreement from our end and that He already paid for our sins and we will be forgiven. 

Once our worthiness has been determined, we will be given a reward of living in a kingdom of glory in accordance with what we learned and did during Earth life. These kingdoms vary and what we will receive and can do depend on what kingdom we live in. However, all kingdoms of glory will be better than this life because of the knowledge we will have, the bodies we will have, and the people we will be with. At the end of it all, we will know that God was just in determining where we will live. 

This is why I feel such love and hope during life, even during times of struggle. This is why member of the Church often don't mourn the same as when someone dies. Yes we are sad and we definitely miss them but there is still so much to look forward to and to hope for. Death and separation are not permanent. They are a small road block.

I know there are probably still questions and holes to be filled. Details that many of us wonder about. When I feel I am dwelling on these, I remember to think "will knowing the answer change how I believe?" Will knowing where these places are or what they look like or how long it will all take change any of the information I already have? No it won't and so for now, I choose to trust God and believe that like any good father, He wants me to learn, grow, and obtain the best I can but I can only do this by accepting His help and guidance. 

Plan of Salvation - Earth life or Mortality

The middle section of the Plan of Salvation is called Mortality. It's the portion of the plan where our eternal spirits are housed in physical, mortal bodies. There is a lot of information about this part of the plan because its the part we are currently living. It's the part we actually remember.


After the council and subsequent war in heaven (see Plan of Salvation - Pre-mortal life), the earth and all things on it were created and organized. Man and woman were placed here. Gender plays an important part. Woman was given the right and power to create new physical bodies, with man's help, to ensure there would be bodies for other spirit children of God to receive and reside while going through this mortal life. Bodies are essential in the Plan to allow God's children to learn more and return to Him one day. Man was granted the right and power of the priesthood. The priesthood is God's power and authority given to man to act in His name to provide blessings and ordinances necessary for God's children to be able to return to Him. Men and women are not equal as in the same, but they are equal as in the both hold important roles in helping God's children. Without both, the plan would not work.

Adam and Eve were placed on Earth in the Garden of Eden. They were innocent and had no understanding of opposition. They were given commandments. After being tempted and beguiled by the serpent, or Satan, they partook of the fruit of the knowledge of Good and Evil. This allowed them to start learning about opposition which is needed in life. You can't understand joy without sorrow. Pleasure means nothing without pain. Good and evil have no meaning without each other. But because partaking of the fruit transgressed one of God's commands, they were kicked out of the Garden.

After they left the Garden, a veil of forgetfulness was placed over their minds (and subsequently ours as well) so that our desire to obey God's commands could be tested without the memories of the pre-mortal life and what it was like to be with God. God did send messengers to Adam, and other men after him, to share the truth about God and His plan. These messengers teach about God's commandments so that we won't disobey unknowingly and be punished, and so we can receive blessings (or rewards) for obedience. In this way we could prove we truly desired to be like Him. These men who are taught these things are referred to as prophets and their job is to then teach us.

Of course, more and more people were born to populate the Earth and other such details that aren't terribly important to the plan.

Here are some items I feel are more important about the plan:

1. We were born to receive bodies so we could be like God. But our bodies are mortal bodies meaning they will die, they are subject to temptations from Satan, and they often have things go wrong with them (i.e. sickness, injury, mental issues, etc.). Death would keep us from returning to God. 
2. Just like in the pre-mortal life, we continue to have agency. We are free to make our own choices. However, there are laws (sometimes referred to as commandments) in place and consequences (both rewards and punishments) assigned to each law. When we choose to keep or obey the law, we will receive a reward or blessing and we will remain free from punishments that might limit our freedom. When we break or disobey these laws, the assigned punished will take place either now or sometime in the future. Many of these punishments strip us of freedom to choose the next time, like habits which eventually turn into addictions. This is also referred to as sin. Sin will also keep us from God. Temptations and mental issues only keep us from God if we give into them and teach our body to accept them rather than focus on rejecting them by obeying God's commandments. 
3. Jesus was born of a mortal mother and a Godly father. He lived a perfect life and obeyed all of God's commandments. He experienced his own bodily afflictions. He was tempted by Satan, He suffered (experienced and felt) all of the sins, sorrows, ailments, illnesses, and temptations of the human race. This pain was so much that he bled from every pore in his body. (This is known as the Atonement of Jesus Christ.) He then suffered the painful death of crucifixion. But after all this, he was resurrected* and lives again. (*Resurrection refers to the reuniting of the physical body with the spirit but in such a way that the body now becomes perfect. It is no longer subject to death, sickness, temptation, etc.)
4. As part of the plan, God and Jesus Christ created the way that once Jesus broke the bands of death, they wouldn't be able to hold anyone forever. Meaning, because Jesus Christ was resurrected one day every person who receives a body will be resurrected also at an assigned time. We do not need to do anything to receive this. This resurrection will also correct any mortal problems we experienced while alive. No more cancer, broken bones, etc. The body will be returned to a perfect state. We will not stay dead forever. We will live again as Jesus Christ lives again. 
5. Through everything that Jesus Christ suffered, he experienced any and all trials that any person, male or female, could experience. Because he did this, he can help us overcome any struggles we may have; physical, mental, emotional, etc. He has perfect empathy and he can do this for us right now. All we need to do is ask. Also, because we sin and because God is just, and because justice will not be robbed, we would not be able to return and live with Him again. This justice makes it so God is impartial and not a respecter of persons. Each consequence we receive is of our own doing. On the other hand, God loves us and wants us to return, so Jesus Christ stepped in as a savior and mediator. He suffered and paid our debt of sin and will advocate for us before God during the time of judgment. Jesus is willing to do this as long as we meet his terms which are: have faith in him, repent of our sins, be baptized by immersion with the proper authority, and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost. After that, we simply need to try our best to do our best, repenting when we mess up along the way. Through Jesus Christ our disobedience to God's laws and our sins are taken away. 

This part of the plan provides so much hope and joy. Our loved ones who have passed away will not remain dead forever. We will see and touch them again with perfect bodies. Even when we make mistakes, there is a way to be rid of those and feel joy and happiness. There is a way to have help from someone who knows exactly what we are dealing with; temptations, addictions, habits, depression, physical infirmities (genetic deformities, life long illnesses, prolong pain or injury), and anything else we might suffer. This is a glorious plan.