Yes, paying for college can be hard and there are other things the money could be used on but it isn't impossible. I attended 5 1/2 years of college (transfers and a change of majors caused the delay). My parents didn't pay anything towards my living expenses (accept while I lived at home), tuition, books, or anything else. I worked through high school and worked through college. I received a half tuition scholarship for my first 2 years after that I applied for grants and financial aid. One year I only got student loans instead of grants because they application process took into account my parents' income. However, I hadn't earned any money or lived with them for a year and a half (I was servings a mission for my church). I still managed to pay for school and pay off loans. I have friends who were essentially paid to attend college between scholarships, grants and such.
What makes my situation and those of my friends different from those of lower economic classes? It wasn't money or opportunity to attend. There are colleges everywhere. At my high school, there were counselors who helped the students look for scholarships and grants and help fill out applications for college. Are there not counselors at all high schools? Even if there aren't, all this information can be found online. Both schools and libraries have computers available for use to look up all this information.
So what's the difference? Here is story I read recently that demonstrates exactly how I feel. This story comes from an article I read.
"Ben Carson said of himself, “I was the worst student in my whole fifth-grade class.” One day Ben took a math test with 30 problems. The student behind him corrected it and handed it back. The teacher, Mrs. Williamson, started calling each student’s name for the score. Finally, she got to Ben. Out of embarrassment, he mumbled the answer. Mrs. Williamson, thinking he had said “9,” replied that for Ben to score 9 out of 30 was a wonderful improvement. The student behind Ben then yelled out, “Not nine! … He got none … right.” Ben said he wanted to drop through the floor.
At the same time, Ben’s mother, Sonya, faced obstacles of her own. She was one of 24 children, had only a third-grade education, and could not read. She was married at age 13, was divorced, had two sons, and was raising them in the ghettos of Detroit. Nonetheless, she was fiercely self-reliant and had a firm belief that God would help her and her sons if they did their part.
One day a turning point came in her life and that of her sons. It dawned on her that successful people for whom she cleaned homes had libraries—they read. After work she went home and turned off the television that Ben and his brother were watching. She said in essence: You boys are watching too much television. From now on you can watch three programs a week. In your free time you will go to the library—read two books a week and give me a report.
The boys were shocked. Ben said he had never read a book in his entire life except when required to do so at school. They protested, they complained, they argued, but it was to no avail. Then Ben reflected, “She laid down the law. I didn’t like the rule, but her determination to see us improve changed the course of my life.”
And what a change it made. By the seventh grade he was at the top of his class. He went on to attend Yale University on a scholarship, then Johns Hopkins medical school, where at age 33 he became its chief of pediatric neurosurgery and a world-renowned surgeon. How was that possible? Largely because of a mother who, without many of the advantages of life, magnified her calling as a parent."
"Ben Carson said of himself, “I was the worst student in my whole fifth-grade class.” One day Ben took a math test with 30 problems. The student behind him corrected it and handed it back. The teacher, Mrs. Williamson, started calling each student’s name for the score. Finally, she got to Ben. Out of embarrassment, he mumbled the answer. Mrs. Williamson, thinking he had said “9,” replied that for Ben to score 9 out of 30 was a wonderful improvement. The student behind Ben then yelled out, “Not nine! … He got none … right.” Ben said he wanted to drop through the floor.
At the same time, Ben’s mother, Sonya, faced obstacles of her own. She was one of 24 children, had only a third-grade education, and could not read. She was married at age 13, was divorced, had two sons, and was raising them in the ghettos of Detroit. Nonetheless, she was fiercely self-reliant and had a firm belief that God would help her and her sons if they did their part.
One day a turning point came in her life and that of her sons. It dawned on her that successful people for whom she cleaned homes had libraries—they read. After work she went home and turned off the television that Ben and his brother were watching. She said in essence: You boys are watching too much television. From now on you can watch three programs a week. In your free time you will go to the library—read two books a week and give me a report.
The boys were shocked. Ben said he had never read a book in his entire life except when required to do so at school. They protested, they complained, they argued, but it was to no avail. Then Ben reflected, “She laid down the law. I didn’t like the rule, but her determination to see us improve changed the course of my life.”
And what a change it made. By the seventh grade he was at the top of his class. He went on to attend Yale University on a scholarship, then Johns Hopkins medical school, where at age 33 he became its chief of pediatric neurosurgery and a world-renowned surgeon. How was that possible? Largely because of a mother who, without many of the advantages of life, magnified her calling as a parent."
Children learn and take social cues from those they spend time with. After my daughter was bit on the face by a dog, I worried about how she would react when people asked about the band-aids and scars. Would she have flash backs to what happened and be afraid? Would she shy away and be afraid to answer? However, she did none of these things. When asked by the first person about it, she looked to me for reassurance and when I nodded for her to talk about it, she did it. She would act in the manner that I would.
Kids will live up or down to the expectations set for them by those who love them and who they love. When parents, teachers, mentors, and friends all work to help each other, they will accomplish great things. I wonder what would happen if more parents and teachers and friends expected more of each other and expected more of those under their charge?
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This blog is my sincere attempt to help create an understanding. I will not post nor will I tolerate blatantly rude or biting remarks. Contention does not promote understanding. I ask that you only comment if you are trying to add insight, clarification, seek additional information, and the like.